Floyd had just left Scotland Yard after refusing to help Adams on a case. He did, however, reveal that the audio drama had most likely fallen prey to a practical joker who had misplaced the link somewhere in cyberspace for personal amusement. Unsurprisingly to most of us, Adams is not amused.
Floyd made his way home feeling unaccountably ebullient. Even though he’d had nothing to do with foiling the Author’s plans it still delighted him that they had been foiled. Somewhere deep in his subconscious an annoying voice warned that anything done by supervillains was bad news, no matter how harmless it may seem at first, but he successfully ignored it and continued on his merry way.
His mood deflated instantly, however, when he checked his email and found it flooded with messages from angry fans demanding that he return the missing episode at once.
“I didn’t do it!” he exclaimed aloud, impatient with all the accusations.
“Are you sure?”
He grimaced when he recognized the voice in the back of his head as the one belonging to the Author.
“Leave me alone,” he snapped. “You’re not even a real person.”
“I’m as real as you,” she said, offended. “Maybe even more so.”
“Even worse,” Floyd said. “Shoo. Get out of my head.”
“Not until you help me with that missing audio drama.”
“Not you too!” he exclaimed. “Look, I had nothing to do with that. And you of all people should know that!”
“I do,” she said instantly. “I know exactly what happened to it. I’ve just been letting the rumour spread that you’re involved as a smoke screen.”
“Gee, thanks,” Floyd said sarcastically. “So where is it?”
The Author sighed. “It doesn’t exist yet,” she admitted.
“What?”
“There have been some delays. Well, a lot of delays. It’s beginning to be a little strange, of course.”
“So you just decided to say it was missing and blame it on me so you wouldn’t have to tell the truth?” Floyd accused.
“Well, no. I decided to say it was missing and hoped you’d investigate it and keep everyone merrily distracted until we got done. You had a cute theory with the hyperspace hackers, by the way.”
“Cute?” Floyd raised his eyebrows. “That’s actually a real phenomena, you know.”
“Not in this solar system, pal.”
“What exactly is it that you want? I’m not going to start some phony investgation for you, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“No, it’s too late for that. Besides, I want you to conduct a real one.”
“A real investigation? In…. what, exactly?”
“Who’s jinxing the production. Why have there been so many complications the last two weeks? It’s mighty suspicious, Floyd.”
“Look,” he said in annoyance. “I’ll tell you what I told Adams. I don’t care that your project is going poorly. I hope it flops entirely. And I really hope that you give up all this nonsense about spying on my personal life.”
The Author sighed. “Floyd…”
“Don’t use that tone of voice with me.”
“I’ll use whatever tone I like with you. I created you, remember.”
“Did not.”
“Did so.”
“Did not.”
“Did so.”
“Did not.”
“Did– oh whatever. Are you going to help or not?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“Come on, Floyd. What about the fans?”
“Get them to solve it for you!” Floyd said explosively. “Now leave me alone and let me deal with real problems, okay?”
“Fine,” the Author grumbled, and betook her disembodied voice elsewhere.
Can you figure out who’s responsible for jinxing the audio drama project?
